La vérité, je la dirai, car j'ai promis de la dire, si la justice, régulièrement saisie, ne la faisait pas, pleine et entière. Mon devoir est de parler, je ne veux pas être complice. Mes nuits seraient hantées par le spectre de l'innocent qui expie là-bas, dans la plus affreuse des tortures, un crime qu'il n'a pas commis.
- Open Letter from Emile Zola to the President of France published in L’Aurore Jan. 13, 1898
The truth, I will say it, for I promised to say it, if justice, uniformly seized, did not do it plainly and fully. My duty is to speak, I do not want to be an accomplice. My nights would be haunted by the ghost of the innocent one, that pays the price, in the most horrible of tortures, for a crime he did not commit.
- Open Letter from Emile Zola to the President of France published in L’Aurore Jan. 13, 1898 [translation my own]
My birthday is a time where I re-evaluate, how I’ve either contributed or harmed society through my personal action or inaction.
In looking back over these past 2 years, I've realized that I allowed my grief, to both rule my life and blind my judgment. I no longer have the luxury, nor do I want to live in that level, of grief stricken ignorance. This re-examination of my life comes at a time when I normally look at where I’ve been, in order to forge the path of where I need to go.
Actually, my nights have been haunted, heavy and often as of late. Perhaps it’s Mike smiling down at me, nagging me out of this political hibernation that I’ve been in since 9/11. Perhaps its Larry, reminding me, through my subconscious, of our debates on the issues of education, defense spending, social programs and our respective ideas of government and how the business of our republic should be conducted. I've been haunted by silent accusations and of complicit action through inaction.
Par conséquent, Je dois appeler la partie responsable. Jai'Accuse Moi!
Yes, I accuse myself, of political indecision and hypocrisy! Of being too afraid, of extremists on the right or the left, to explore what republicanism and conservatism is all about.
Yes, I accuse myself, of letting loudmouth extremists, on both sides, intimidate me into a feeling of political inadequacy which fueled my political denial even when they accused me falsely and their political beliefs were not congruent with my belief system.
Yes, I accuse myself, of having been a harbinger for the left when I was young, naively believing that democratic principles should be observed in all areas of government, with liberality going towards those who were less fortunate than I.
Yes, I accuse myself, of being complicit, through silence, during a time when I should have spoken up against the acts of an immoral and spiritually corrupt President, who I still believe in my heart is a sexual predator.
Yes, I accuse myself, of letting labels blind me to men of greatness, simply because I was afraid of “what might happen” and never did. In doing so, I allowed fear to prevent me from supporting some incredible changes that transpired, while I sat on the sidelines.
I think my specters have been calling on me these past few months, because the time was ripe for me to re-examine my conscience and political leanings. As a result, I must out myself hear and now, in order to put an end to my political purgatory. I can no longer outwardly support a party or a political ideology that I have not supported and have not affiliated with for more than a decade. Yet, I'm unable to say or even figure out where I belong in the new political landscape.
Am I a reluctant conservative or a former recovering liberal? With each passing day I realize I am more conservative than I once thought, and have successfully argued against the radical left for some time now. Yet, how are my political views to be discerned and defined? These unspoken questions lay there, waiting to be embraced, while I sit here and stare into the darkness that these extremists have created ... and fear begins to rise once again. Well, no more! Mike, Larry and the others didn't rush into the towers wondering or questioning. They ran with a fierce determination and conviction. That is the conviction I must now seize upon to get to the other side of fear.
Fear of the ramifications of what awaits me; of the fact that it will usher in the demise of my last surviving friendship. I have probably postponed writing or even saying all of this out loud for that fear. But the pain of inaction is greater than the pain of uttering the truth.
The truth is I can no longer remain subdued in my arguments, just as I cannot temper my level of disgust with the DNC. I am at the point of revulsion. I can no longer debate like a lady. I simply want to take my gloves off, get into the ring and throw a few well placed punches and kicks of my own. I can no longer stand by silently and know that brave Americans are being accused of untruths and vile things. I can no longer live with that lie silently.
So now my birthday will marks the birth of my independence day. Today, I communicated with various political figures and organizations requesting they remove my name from their rolls, as I no longer want to be called or be associated with them or with their political positions in any way.
In the end, what motivated me the most was believing certain individuals were responsible for the death of my friends. For some time I have been bothered by the fact that Pres. Clinton missed several key opportunities to rid this country of a problem which has plagued us in the Middle East & elsewhere for some time. His inaction caused the death of thousands during his term in office. And on the eve of his benefiting from these indiscretions, by publishing his memoirs. I can no longer sit idly by and hold my tongue.
Aujourd'hui, J'accuse Clinton de trahison, et prononcez-le coupable comme chargé! [Today, I accuse Clinton of treason, of betraying the safety and well-being of the American people, for political expediency. Of this he stands guilty as charged!]
As I think of my friends deaths on 9/11, my rage rises to a boiling point, when I wonder if he and Monica were Cigar playing, at the time they were looking for him to give the order to wipe out OBL.
On Saturday I will post my Apologia and to see what I intend to do about defining my political leanings.
Suggestions are welcome for I find myself feeling the rage rising after being dormant from the grief and shock of my beloved friends.
Thank you!
- Open Letter from Emile Zola to the President of France published in L’Aurore Jan. 13, 1898
The truth, I will say it, for I promised to say it, if justice, uniformly seized, did not do it plainly and fully. My duty is to speak, I do not want to be an accomplice. My nights would be haunted by the ghost of the innocent one, that pays the price, in the most horrible of tortures, for a crime he did not commit.
- Open Letter from Emile Zola to the President of France published in L’Aurore Jan. 13, 1898 [translation my own]
My birthday is a time where I re-evaluate, how I’ve either contributed or harmed society through my personal action or inaction.
In looking back over these past 2 years, I've realized that I allowed my grief, to both rule my life and blind my judgment. I no longer have the luxury, nor do I want to live in that level, of grief stricken ignorance. This re-examination of my life comes at a time when I normally look at where I’ve been, in order to forge the path of where I need to go.
Actually, my nights have been haunted, heavy and often as of late. Perhaps it’s Mike smiling down at me, nagging me out of this political hibernation that I’ve been in since 9/11. Perhaps its Larry, reminding me, through my subconscious, of our debates on the issues of education, defense spending, social programs and our respective ideas of government and how the business of our republic should be conducted. I've been haunted by silent accusations and of complicit action through inaction.
Par conséquent, Je dois appeler la partie responsable. Jai'Accuse Moi!
Yes, I accuse myself, of political indecision and hypocrisy! Of being too afraid, of extremists on the right or the left, to explore what republicanism and conservatism is all about.
Yes, I accuse myself, of letting loudmouth extremists, on both sides, intimidate me into a feeling of political inadequacy which fueled my political denial even when they accused me falsely and their political beliefs were not congruent with my belief system.
Yes, I accuse myself, of having been a harbinger for the left when I was young, naively believing that democratic principles should be observed in all areas of government, with liberality going towards those who were less fortunate than I.
Yes, I accuse myself, of being complicit, through silence, during a time when I should have spoken up against the acts of an immoral and spiritually corrupt President, who I still believe in my heart is a sexual predator.
Yes, I accuse myself, of letting labels blind me to men of greatness, simply because I was afraid of “what might happen” and never did. In doing so, I allowed fear to prevent me from supporting some incredible changes that transpired, while I sat on the sidelines.
I think my specters have been calling on me these past few months, because the time was ripe for me to re-examine my conscience and political leanings. As a result, I must out myself hear and now, in order to put an end to my political purgatory. I can no longer outwardly support a party or a political ideology that I have not supported and have not affiliated with for more than a decade. Yet, I'm unable to say or even figure out where I belong in the new political landscape.
Am I a reluctant conservative or a former recovering liberal? With each passing day I realize I am more conservative than I once thought, and have successfully argued against the radical left for some time now. Yet, how are my political views to be discerned and defined? These unspoken questions lay there, waiting to be embraced, while I sit here and stare into the darkness that these extremists have created ... and fear begins to rise once again. Well, no more! Mike, Larry and the others didn't rush into the towers wondering or questioning. They ran with a fierce determination and conviction. That is the conviction I must now seize upon to get to the other side of fear.
Fear of the ramifications of what awaits me; of the fact that it will usher in the demise of my last surviving friendship. I have probably postponed writing or even saying all of this out loud for that fear. But the pain of inaction is greater than the pain of uttering the truth.
The truth is I can no longer remain subdued in my arguments, just as I cannot temper my level of disgust with the DNC. I am at the point of revulsion. I can no longer debate like a lady. I simply want to take my gloves off, get into the ring and throw a few well placed punches and kicks of my own. I can no longer stand by silently and know that brave Americans are being accused of untruths and vile things. I can no longer live with that lie silently.
So now my birthday will marks the birth of my independence day. Today, I communicated with various political figures and organizations requesting they remove my name from their rolls, as I no longer want to be called or be associated with them or with their political positions in any way.
In the end, what motivated me the most was believing certain individuals were responsible for the death of my friends. For some time I have been bothered by the fact that Pres. Clinton missed several key opportunities to rid this country of a problem which has plagued us in the Middle East & elsewhere for some time. His inaction caused the death of thousands during his term in office. And on the eve of his benefiting from these indiscretions, by publishing his memoirs. I can no longer sit idly by and hold my tongue.
Aujourd'hui, J'accuse Clinton de trahison, et prononcez-le coupable comme chargé! [Today, I accuse Clinton of treason, of betraying the safety and well-being of the American people, for political expediency. Of this he stands guilty as charged!]
As I think of my friends deaths on 9/11, my rage rises to a boiling point, when I wonder if he and Monica were Cigar playing, at the time they were looking for him to give the order to wipe out OBL.
On Saturday I will post my Apologia and to see what I intend to do about defining my political leanings.
Suggestions are welcome for I find myself feeling the rage rising after being dormant from the grief and shock of my beloved friends.
Thank you!
