Spending time with my son lately has been pure joy. He’s been having issues with his teacher and 2 classmates, which I have to go in and address tomorrow. To ensure his spirit remains nurtured, while enduring his personal challenges, I’ve rearranged my schedule to spend even more time with him. As a result, he’s made me laugh each day with something creatively funny he’s said. Below is a sampling:
Update: I received a lot of comments on this post. One of my readers shared a scene so hysterical, I'm still crying from the laughter. I repost with permission below:
[Scene: Seven-year-old son say goodbye to mother before leaving with Dad for school] Son: Mom look the dog is licking her privates. Mom: Yes. Dogs do that sometimes. Son: I can't do that. [bends at waist to demonstrate.] See? [Parents fall to the floor laughing the moment he leaves the room]
[Scene: Picking him up at the gym from after-school program my son sees me, gets all excited starts running towards me.]
Son: Mom… mom, you gotta let me go to the Halloween party they’re throwing here in 2 weeks!
Me: You know that it starts past your bedtime. Why do you want to go so badly?
Son: Because that’s the mother load of candy days! I can collect more in one night than you buy in a YEAR! I can collect it and stash it away and eat only a few pieces a week, that way it'’ll last me till next Halloween and I’ll never have to negotiate with you to buy candy ever again ‘cause I’'ll already have my own.
Me: [Just gave him a look he’s used to by now]
Son: [Turns to friend and says:] “See, I told you she wouldn’'t buy it.”
Son: Mom… mom, you gotta let me go to the Halloween party they’re throwing here in 2 weeks!
Me: You know that it starts past your bedtime. Why do you want to go so badly?
Son: Because that’s the mother load of candy days! I can collect more in one night than you buy in a YEAR! I can collect it and stash it away and eat only a few pieces a week, that way it'’ll last me till next Halloween and I’ll never have to negotiate with you to buy candy ever again ‘cause I’'ll already have my own.
Me: [Just gave him a look he’s used to by now]
Son: [Turns to friend and says:] “See, I told you she wouldn’'t buy it.”
[Scene: Me, stopping in at the corner café to buy some coffee on our way to my son's school. My son remains outside running around chasing pigeons. He stops for a moment, comes inside and starts collecting the crumbs off the counter.]
Me: Why are you collecting crumbs?
Son: The pigeons are hungry and want the crumbs.
Me: How do you know they’'re hungry and want crumbs?
Son: They told me so. I speak fluent pidgeon! [He said this with such a serious face everyone was dying to burst out in laughter, me included. He stood there waiting for me to give the ok.]
Me: [All I could muster to do was wave him on and say:] Go ahead.
Afterwards everyone bursts out in laughter and a few agree, the scene was worthy of submission to the the Metropolitan Diary column in the NY Times. I simply said "Please go ahead and submit them yourselves. I've got plenty more where that came from." Hence the inspiration for this new theme in my blog - Bonding Moments.
Me: Why are you collecting crumbs?
Son: The pigeons are hungry and want the crumbs.
Me: How do you know they’'re hungry and want crumbs?
Son: They told me so. I speak fluent pidgeon! [He said this with such a serious face everyone was dying to burst out in laughter, me included. He stood there waiting for me to give the ok.]
Me: [All I could muster to do was wave him on and say:] Go ahead.
Afterwards everyone bursts out in laughter and a few agree, the scene was worthy of submission to the the Metropolitan Diary column in the NY Times. I simply said "Please go ahead and submit them yourselves. I've got plenty more where that came from." Hence the inspiration for this new theme in my blog - Bonding Moments.
[Scene: While playing chess in our living room]
Me: Where are you going, we’re in the middle of a game.
Son: I know, by the time you figure out that I have you in double check I’ll be back with my glass of water. Want some? [He stands there waiting for my answer as I stare at the board and see that I'’ve lost becaues he has my Queen in double check-mate and my King in check. ]
Me: How did you do that in 9 moves?
Son: It’s easy, Thursday’s is your worst day of the week and you come home tired, with lots of things on your mind. I suggest we play chess so I can take advantage of that! [Him giggling!]
Me: Some day you’ll have kids of your own, I'’m going to teach them how to play so well, they're going to teach you a thing or to!
Son: Yes, and until that day comes I will continue to beat you!
Me: Where are you going, we’re in the middle of a game.
Son: I know, by the time you figure out that I have you in double check I’ll be back with my glass of water. Want some? [He stands there waiting for my answer as I stare at the board and see that I'’ve lost becaues he has my Queen in double check-mate and my King in check. ]
Me: How did you do that in 9 moves?
Son: It’s easy, Thursday’s is your worst day of the week and you come home tired, with lots of things on your mind. I suggest we play chess so I can take advantage of that! [Him giggling!]
Me: Some day you’ll have kids of your own, I'’m going to teach them how to play so well, they're going to teach you a thing or to!
Son: Yes, and until that day comes I will continue to beat you!
Update: I received a lot of comments on this post. One of my readers shared a scene so hysterical, I'm still crying from the laughter. I repost with permission below:
[Scene: Seven-year-old son say goodbye to mother before leaving with Dad for school] Son: Mom look the dog is licking her privates. Mom: Yes. Dogs do that sometimes. Son: I can't do that. [bends at waist to demonstrate.] See? [Parents fall to the floor laughing the moment he leaves the room]
