Scene takes place at a local café, while I’m talking for a few minutes with another mom during children’s storytime.
Me: “Is it hot in here or is it me?”
A Mom: “It IS a bit warm in here. But you’re also drinking hot latte. [Touching my forhead] You don’t have a fever.”
Me: “Man… I’m so hot I want to take off my shirt and go bury my chest in the snow”
A Mom: [blinks and looks away, not knowing what to say]
Me: “Sorry, that was too much information, wasn’t it?
------------------- an hour later-------------------
Scene takes place on the street; it’s 20F and the wind chill makes it feels like 11F. I’ve bumped into my babysitter’s mom, Jenny, who was a Dr. in South America. While talking with her I begin opening my coat, removing my scarf, taking off my gloves and finally my hat.
Jenny: “Aren’t you cold? It’s freezing out here.”
Me: “No… I’m actually kinda hot.”
Jenny: “How many layers of clothing do you have on?” [I’m known for my layering. Tammi doesn’t know this but when I met her for dinner I had wool/cashmere blend tights, a pair of leggings under a pair of corduroy pants. Over all my clothing I wore my Michelin style, full-length (sub-zero) down coat.]
Me: I’m wearing just 2 light shirts and 2 pants under my down coat. [I remove my coat to show her.]
Jenny: Let me see… [touches my forhead], you don’t have a fever. [she asks lots of medical questions, which I answer]. Hmm, you’re too young to be going through the change.
Me: What change?
Jenny: You know…the change [she says frowning at me for not getting her meaning.]
Me: What change?
Jenny: The…. change [she says speaking slowly as if talking to a retarded child].
Me: “Who’s on first?”
Jenny: “What?....”
Me: “What’s on second.”
Jenny: “What are you talking about?” [she’s got major frowning action going on now].
Me: “I don’t know [“he’s on 3rd”]. I have no idea what YOU”RE talking about.”
Jenny: “Well it doesn’t matter because you’re too young to be going through it anyway.”
Me: “Well, thank you for that non-diagnosis, Dr!”
Jenny: [She laughs, but I’m wondering if she really understands my sense of humor.]
------------------- 2 hours later-------------------
Scene takes place in my kitchen. As I wrestle with dinner options I call my blog-bro _Jon..
Me: "Jon, can I ask you a question about your wife’s chemo treatment? Do you mind?"
Jon: "Not at all. What do you want to know?"
Me: "I’m having insane cravings: Today I bought anchovies, feta cheese and olives for my dinner. Did she ever get cravings for foods like that?"
Jon: "Yep, she had some pretty strange requests."
Me: "Okay, I’m glad to know it’s not just me."
Jon: "No, it’s not just you. Oh by the way, she also had some major hot flashes."
Me: "Oh. My. God… I thought I was either going crazy or there was something seriously wrong with me. How did you know I needed to know that?"
Jon: "I just figured you did because it’s all part of the chemotherapy."
Me: "Oh, I can’t believe it… so that’s what’s been going on?" [I momentarily think about sharing how I wanted to take off my clothes and bury my chest in the snow earlier, but the look of that mom’s face came back to me, so I spared him. Some things are better left unsaid.]
Lucky for me I have this blog, so I can remind myself – it’s the chemo stupid – if I forget!
Jon, one more question. Is insomnia also part of this? It's 3:00am and I'm still not yet sleepy.
