A post written by Colin :
I was sitting there reading the NY Times while visiting/caring for Michele after physical therapy for her knee injury. She was stretched out on the couch with her right leg propped up on a pillow with a huge ice pack on her knee. We had been sitting quietly, me reading - she thinking, for upwards of an hour without saying a word to each other.
She was staring out the window and looking up at the night sky, when she noticed me staring and turned to look at me for a moment.
"What have you been thinking about all this time?”" I finally asked her as I glanced back at the newspaper and turned the page.
"“Nothing really"” she replied and turned to look back out the window. After a long pause, in which I read an entire article, she asked, “"Have you ever read Ayn Rand or Robert Heinlein?”"
“"No, but I have heard of them."” I stared at her thoughtfully for awhile. “"Michele, I was just wondering… something... is this what married life is like?"” She looked at me intently for a moment, almost as if to read me.
“"Well, that depends on what you’re feeling at this moment."
After considering a bit, I shared: “"Comfortable, serene, relaxed."”
After a deep reflective sigh, and with a tone of real honesty, almost wistfully, she said: "“Imagine those feelings, along with contentedness and an abiding love and you have the feelings of someone who is happily married.”"
After making sure I understood, she settled back into her quiet reverie of years gone past and didn'’t speak again until I left.
Though she is still mourning, she is now in a place of acceptance and simply learning to live with the loss. Sometimes I am blown away by her resilience, conviction and strength. It almost makes me feel self-conscious and somewhat ashamed that I tried to play her once.
Last month, during lunch she said to me that I needed to learn more about women in order to respect them as people so that I could eventually have a successful relationship with one. As I check in on her I can’t help but think how right she was and how this is all part of learning that life lesson.
I was sitting there reading the NY Times while visiting/caring for Michele after physical therapy for her knee injury. She was stretched out on the couch with her right leg propped up on a pillow with a huge ice pack on her knee. We had been sitting quietly, me reading - she thinking, for upwards of an hour without saying a word to each other.
She was staring out the window and looking up at the night sky, when she noticed me staring and turned to look at me for a moment.
"What have you been thinking about all this time?”" I finally asked her as I glanced back at the newspaper and turned the page.
"“Nothing really"” she replied and turned to look back out the window. After a long pause, in which I read an entire article, she asked, “"Have you ever read Ayn Rand or Robert Heinlein?”"
“"No, but I have heard of them."” I stared at her thoughtfully for awhile. “"Michele, I was just wondering… something... is this what married life is like?"” She looked at me intently for a moment, almost as if to read me.
“"Well, that depends on what you’re feeling at this moment."
After considering a bit, I shared: “"Comfortable, serene, relaxed."”
After a deep reflective sigh, and with a tone of real honesty, almost wistfully, she said: "“Imagine those feelings, along with contentedness and an abiding love and you have the feelings of someone who is happily married.”"
After making sure I understood, she settled back into her quiet reverie of years gone past and didn'’t speak again until I left.
Though she is still mourning, she is now in a place of acceptance and simply learning to live with the loss. Sometimes I am blown away by her resilience, conviction and strength. It almost makes me feel self-conscious and somewhat ashamed that I tried to play her once.
Last month, during lunch she said to me that I needed to learn more about women in order to respect them as people so that I could eventually have a successful relationship with one. As I check in on her I can’t help but think how right she was and how this is all part of learning that life lesson.
