Sunday, October 15, 2006

Okay, Okay, Okay....

I'm getting a bit self-conscious and embarrassed from all the attention. Believe me it is all appreciated. I'm just not used to it. I'm more comfortable being invisible, the unnoticed one; the one that always flies under the radar undetected. So all I can humbly say is thank you. Thank you for all the support and kind words. Thank You for making a rough and challenging week easier. And thank you for not letting me sit home all alone with my thoughts and coaxing me out of my shell with your comments, emails and text messages.

The turn around began in earnest when I started to receive them; it continued with a long phone call in the middle of the night Friday morning, from a professional comedian friend of mine who read my blog. At around 2am Friday he had just finished a show and decided to call to cheer me up. At one point he had me laughing so hard that I was gasping for air and had tears in my eyes. That helped my outlook Friday and the day went a lot easier and faster. My co-workers also helped by picking up my lunch for me on both Thursday and Friday and helping with anything I needed. I’m grateful that work is slow and it will continue to be that way until election day. By then I should be feeling 100%.

Some of the kids I have mentored in the past stopped by midday yesterday to help with small chores and errands, which made me even more grateful and made me believe that I had an angel looking out for me. Last night, while laying on the couch getting bummed out as I watched my Mets loose horribly, I began getting text messages from several bloggers that I really respect and admire. To one of them I wanted to text “I’m not worthy” but he’s already told me once to cut that out and not go there, so I didn’t. This morning I got a call from the firefighters who worked the rescue with me last Sunday. They were on duty and were checking in on how I was doing. They’re a great group of guys who were also fun to talk to. One of them, who has done 2 tours in Iraq, gave me pointers on what to do about the rescue related nightmares and flashbacks For that bit alone I’m most grateful, because now I have tools to work through some of the challenging stuff that has been going on in my head recently.

In truth, I have felt the same way about all your wonderful comments and messages. They have all been good for the soul; and they have all helped me in one way or another. I still don’t feel much like a hero because I did what any decent abled body human being should do in the same situation. In fact, in NYC it’s a crime not to help someone in need. Sad isn’t it that we need such a law on the books, but there it is. So for today, all that’s left hurting are from my trapezoids to the base of my skull, which are being treated with some state of the art patches I was given by my orthopedist Friday. They feel good, but I don’t know about wearing these patches on my clothes. I don’t like drawing attention to myself, and well, wearing these over your clothes you can’t help but draw attention to yourself. The good thing is that my suit jacket will cover these things tomorrow AND there'’s no granny smell. I seem to getting tendonitis in both my elbows, but I think my texting to the different people yesterday for a couple of hours has more to do with that than anything else. My calves and hamstrings are no longer cramping and getting spasms, but for the life of me I don’t understand why my glutes are still hurting. All this pain defies comprehension. My orthopedist gave me rational explanations for what happened and found bruises on my back to explain it all. Apparently, I was slammed repeatedly against the rocks and just didn'’t realize how hard.

So for today, I’'ll just continue relaxing, watching football in the daytime, baseball at night and live in dread of losing the bet to my blog bro Jon. WHAT WAS I THINKING???!!!!!

Posted by: Michele at 03:05 PM | Comments (15)
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